I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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