Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I AM VODKA MAN
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
