Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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