He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish my penis had a tongue
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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