Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
