who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
