If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
