I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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