Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
