Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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