Can Purell be used as lube?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
