I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
