I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
