I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
