please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
