apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
