They should really pass out barf bags in church
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
