His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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