You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
