do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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