thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
