I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
