He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
