K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
