This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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