Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So. Much. Porn.
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