all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
