you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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