apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
