Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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