I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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