This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize