I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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