If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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