i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
