Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
