I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
