we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
