i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
