It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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