I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
