i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
