dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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