I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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