Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize