dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
