Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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