Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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