evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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