Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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