I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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