There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this will be a night to untag.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
