you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
one two three fourrrrnication!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
