she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
