FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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