I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
