I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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