Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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