Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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