PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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