He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
