Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
