I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think my moral compass just broke
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