so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
