Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
